Making an adoption plan for your unborn child is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Alabama Family Adoption Services wants to make sure you are making an informed decision; that you have all the facts before you, and that you understand how and what happens during an adoptive placement.

Below is a list of questions birthmothers frequently ask us. All of these questions will be covered during our initial meeting, but if you would like to talk about one or more of them at greater length, or if you have special concerns about certain questions, we will be happy to take more time talking about those questions.

1. What are the adoptive parents allowed to know about me? Can my identity remain confidential?

2. How much will the adoptive parents want to know about my family? Can their identities remain confidential?

3. When the child is old enough, what information will the child be able to get about me if he/she wants?

4. When the child is old enough, if he/she wants to search for me, will the agency contact me first? Will the agency help find me? What if I don't want to be found?

5. Will I be able to find my child if I decided I want to search for him/her? What if it were a medical emergency?

6. May I write the adoptive parents a letter explaining to them the reasons for placing my child for adoption? May I write my child a letter for the adoptive parents to save until he/she is old enough to read it and understand?

7. How much can I be involved in choosing the couple for my child?

8. May I select what religion I wish the couple to be?

9. How much will I really know about the adoptive parents?

10. What qualifies an adoptive couple to work with your agency? 11. What information is needed from the birth father?

12. My boyfriend is such a jerk. He broke up with me when I told him I was pregnant. Now he's telling all his friends it isn't even his baby! Is it absolutely necessary for him to be contacted at all?

13. What if the birth father refuses to cooperate? Can he stop me from placing my baby for adoption? What if he says he (or his mother or grandmother) wants to raise the child? Can his family stop me from placing my baby for adoption?

14. What if I'm not sure who the father of my baby is?

15. Do my parents have to sign papers in order for me to place my child for adoption? Can they stop me from placing my baby for adoption? What if my mother says she wants to raise the child?

16. How soon after the baby is born can it be placed in its new home? 17. Will my baby ever have to go into foster care? If so, for how long?

18. Will I be able to see my baby in the hospital? Will I be able to feed and hold my baby in the hospital? 19. What if the baby is sick or has some deformity? Will the adoptive family still want the baby?

20. Are my parents, friends, birth father, etc. allowed to see the baby in the hospital?

21. Can I name my baby?

22. May I have copies of the pictures taken of my baby in the hospital nursery?

23. May I have pictures of the child after he/she is with the adoptive couple? How often?

24. What may I send with my child? (blanket, letters, books, pictures, etc.?)

25. When do I have to sign the adoption papers?

26. Will I have to go to court?

27. Will I have to have a lawyer? Who pays the lawyer?

28. Once I sign the adoption papers, can I change my mind?

29. Who actually pays for my medical costs, the agency or the adoptive parents?

30. What exactly are "reasonable and necessary living expenses?" Who pays for those?

31. Will my child always know of their adoption or will the adoptive parents pretend that the child is a natural-born child? What and when will my child be told about me and the circumstances surrounding the adoptive placement? Will he/she always know they were "placed for adoption" and not "abandoned"?

32. How long does it take for the adoption to be final? Can I change my mind during this time?

33. After the baby is with the adoptive parents, will I have to have any further contact with the agency? Why?

34. What if I have problems adjusting after the adoption? Will the agency refer me to a counselor? Will I have to pay for it or will the agency or adoptive parents pay?